Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
