Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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