Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
