why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
