His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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