The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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