Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
