If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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