I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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