That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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