If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
