she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
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