it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
