If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
