so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
