New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She has the best kind of daddy issues
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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