Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize