Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Someone stole a lamp last night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
