I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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