i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
