rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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