nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
