So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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