I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
