i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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