i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize