I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize