a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
