hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
