Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
