Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
