But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
