we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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