I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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