I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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