I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
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I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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