Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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