omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You are the jesus of drinking
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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