I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
