Texts From Last Night

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  (389): View more from

  So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

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  (389): So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut" http://tfl.nu/g5tq
  Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (570)
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  (415): View more from California

  So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

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  (415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie. http://tfl.nu/1hr1
  Replies (25) Good night (5936) Bad night (1156)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3146) Bad night (1119)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.

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  (419): Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life. http://tfl.nu/u73z
  Replies (36) Good night (4636) Bad night (915)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.

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  (416): He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high. http://tfl.nu/zw5l
  Replies (31) Good night (8068) Bad night (1261)
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  (845): View more from New York

  just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in

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  (845): just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in http://tfl.nu/l275
  Replies (5) Good night (4166) Bad night (1509)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?

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  (734): How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together? http://tfl.nu/es97
  Replies (64) Good night (1519) Bad night (4703)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out

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  (814): Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out http://tfl.nu/m2bp
  Replies (6) Good night (1655) Bad night (547)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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  (615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3
  Replies (9) Good night (2682) Bad night (572)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
  Replies (9) Good night (847) Bad night (1208)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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  (717): After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again. http://tfl.nu/ujp5
  Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (899)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts

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  (512): dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts http://tfl.nu/md3j
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (447)
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  (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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  (230): Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success. http://tfl.nu/u50l
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (359)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.

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  (989): Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams. http://tfl.nu/vuk2
  Replies (4) Good night (467) Bad night (218)
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  (585): View more from New York

  My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die

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  (585): My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die http://tfl.nu/girq
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (362)

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