the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.