ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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