I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
