Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
