I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
