Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
