She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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