I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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