I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
