Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It was confusing and full of hummus
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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