Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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