Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
