There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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