i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sext me about skeletons
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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