Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
