so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
