I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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