so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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