My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
