Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize