My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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