You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
