I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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