you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
