none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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